Monday, April 14, 2014

the battle for life...Moms Who Click 10 on 10 project, Stephanie Marie Photographie, Nashville TN lifestyle photography

lean on me
when your not strong
and ill be your friend
ill help you carry on
it wont be long
til im goin need
somebody to lean on

please swallow your pride
if i have things you need to borrow
for no one can fill
those of your needs
that you won't let show

lean on me...bill withers

volumes are spoken in the chorus and verse of this song between the 2 of us...  if you missed the first volume of this battle, click when i pray to catch up.

i won't even try to lie, these images were not shot on the 10th of this month or even in the past 30 days.  i tried to use them for my February post, but couldn't edit more than 3, march i completely ditzed out for my post, so here we sit April and its time again for the Moms Who Click 10 on 10 project i dearly love and the battle for life is here finally to tell her story...

On Friday, February 7, 2014, I entered the room where I would spend the next 2 hours capturing my dear Ashley's last chemo treatment.  As I walked through the door at 12p,  I was short of breath, trying very, VERY hard not to cry.  Not to feel what my heart was aching to let out, not to break down in the face of an incredibly joyous event.  Well, in the words of Ana, I "let it go" the moment I sat down next to her.  My Ashley, already weak from her first bag of the treatment, looked me dead in the eyes with her brown eyes full of caring emotion & said are you ok? No, I most certainly was not.  I was not ok, and I was going to break down, so please ignore me while I selfishly let my eyes pour over because of my experience of pain, and sorrow and anxiety of cancer.  and oh you my dear friend lay there with poison running through your veins to kill the last of this horrible disease, weakened to a laying state, i tremble with the inability to maintain control.  however, after a 10 minute (so ok it wasn't the smallest breakdown) recoup we celebrated.  We celebrated how funny the drugs make you, how funny chicken tenders look to eat when you are forcing yourself to eat them, how funny it is that your sister has to help you to the bathroom, how much we F***ing hate that bag of poison.

We celebrated ringing the victory bell so hard it nearly came loose from the wall, we celebrated Jesus and his ability to walk us all through your battle.  We celebrated your girls and your mom and your sister and your best friend and we celebrated with tears and laughter and so much emotion I had to stop taking pictures to clear my eyes enough to see to put the camera down and embrace you and your new hope for health.  WE CELEBRATED YOU.  You, my dear Ashley, amaze me.  You are strong. You are smart. You are giving. You love. You seek love and you BELIEVE.  In you, in life, in GOD. 

I have been honored to capture Ashley's journey and her battle.  It has scared me, driven me to my knees and given me glimpses into life, I may have never experienced.  She is the epitome of woman.  Please continue to pray for our sweet Ashley as she continues her battle to recovery.  The road has many curves...

Follow the circle of lovely women celebrating life with the amazing Laura Bastien!