each morning i rise to my alarm, which i loathe...the ripping feeling of interruption right from the moment i open my eyes...a grimace on my face i stumble to the bathroom to catch a glimpse of a woman no longer a girl, but a woman with wrinkles and grey...ummm unpigmented hairs sprouting daily from her bang line...stumbling out to pull on leggings and my husbands sweatshirts to prepare breakfast and lunch in an hour while i try to keep 2 crazy little people on routine.
then out of nowhere it happens...i go into my daughters room and shes sleeping...the innocent sleep of a child...shes so beautiful it takes my breath away...her cheeks flushed from warm sleep, her long eyelashes starting to flutter, her hair a mess...she is so much and my life is swept away at a single look at her...she is so amazingly, flawlessly beautiful...and as i lay down to wake her, he walks in...
my bright eyed, no need for sleep four year old mans man boy...looking for me and only me for his start to his perfect day...his teddys still warm from a night of snuggles, his hair sticking straight up, his t-shirt too short and his pj pants to tight...he fits perfect in my arms, his eyes are dreamy and i am wrapped up in how i love them...
i love them effortlessly, timlessly, with so much that i have forgotten all about me for 7 years now...for 7 years i have let go of everything and i mean everything i ever was...my career, my dreams, my whole world is the exact opposite of what my 25 year old self thought it would be...i have never been so rich or ever dreamed i would be as rich as i am...it cannot be bought, borrowed or stolen and it is all because God saw me, the real me, the me he created...why did he steer me in a completely opposite direction for so long? bc i wasn't ready for me, bc the real me is not selfish, she is not in shape, she is not well-rested and she is not dressed to the nines in expensive clothes...the real me loves leggings, my husbands slouchy sweatshirts, movies snuggled up on our over-sized couch, the real me loves the tiny house none of us can escape one another in, the fact that budget keeps us in on a friday night and the little beauty life shows me everyday...i get to live this life, travel the bumpy path and fight through the bad days...i get to dream and dreaming is what i do...
if you have followed this blog you know about my ashley... HERE and HERE her cancer battle and how my life changed because of her...now she lives the everyday with so much respect she was rewarded by a true miracle...the miracle of michael grace...
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